how to survive the apocalypse
Umm how to survive life
How to smack your head into the roof
Two months into our relationship you once asked me how much I loved you and I just said “From here”. You didn’t get it and you got mad and thought I was playing around.
Breaking up after almost two years together, I sent you a message 6 months later saying “To Here”.
You still didn’t get it.
this hit me hard
im putting free wifi on my gravestone so people will come visit me
I WLLL COME INTO YOUR HOUSE AND FUCKING nap with you
fun fact: the reason that the plural of goose is geese but the plural of moose is not meese is because goose derives from an ancient germanic word undergoing strong declension, in the pattern of foot/feet and tooth/teeth, wherein oo is mutated to ee. however ‘moose’ is a native american word added to the english lexicon only ~400 years ago, and lacks the etymological reason to be pluralized in that way.
Oh baby. Keep talking dirty to me.
has anyone actually had a neighbor thats asked to borrow sugar
no but one time my neighbor arrived with 56 packages of sugar saying there was a sale and he gave us 10 for free
your neighbor is the type of person we read about in math books
that moment when someone’s texting u and they delete what they were typing and u feel like they’re playing with ur feelings
"its dark im scared"
dont worry bae i got this
*sketchers light up*
remember that time a guy came to our school, did a 40 minute drum solo, and then told us not to do drugs?
I left halfway through. How were the drums related to the drugs again?
He came to my old high school too and i never understood.